30 days

day 30

Mikaela Sheldt — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:53:42 +0000

The love that filled day 30 was immense. I still cannot find the words for it, but it was a beautiful experience. This project is about so much more than Mikaela the Artist, and yet that’s precisely what it is – just me and my painting honestly saying hello.

Please let me know if you have photos from closing night, and keep checking back because I will have a film of the closing posted soon. ALSO, I am going to continue to post updates on my process via my normal blog: Mikaela Sheldt: the process and the making.

The 30 days are over, but by no means am I done inviting you into my process. Thank you for a beautiful 30 days and for sharing in my process. It has made all the difference.

day 29

Mikaela Sheldt — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:29:05 +0000

I went into the studio completely prepared to pull an all night’er only to discover that after few carefully painted marks the painting was finished. It feels almost as if the painting said, “Mikaela, put your brushes down, and let me be. I’m good. You are afriad to let go, but I’ve been finished for days now. Go home, sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

It is a strange feeling to finish a painting – both sad and wonderful. I imagine it must be similar to watching your child walk to her first day of school. Happy to finally have quiet alone time, but terribly afraid of loosing your daily companionand inspiration for moving through the day. Who is a painter without her painting or a mother without her child? Simply themselves and that’s a difficult thing to be.

day 28

Mikaela Sheldt — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 14:03:15 +0000

I am making the painting sing – literally breathing life into its fibers. When it begins to fill the room with its voice, body, and energy it fill be finished. At least, I will be able to hear it then. This painting sounds like deep strings both dissonant and harmonized with hollow woodwinds – maybe someone singing like a distant reminder. It would be wonderful if I could share what a finished painting feels like with you all.

day 27

Mikaela Sheldt — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:48:36 +0000

This poem is floating through my head and I can’t get it out. I’m not sure what it has to do with the painting, but it is where my thoughts are at.I’ve grown accustomed to the slow passing of solitude
Used to the easy silence of myself
heavy with dust -

Turn my pages,
But don’t take me home with you
Read my thoughts,
But only skim the surface
Search the index
Find only what you’re looking for.
I am always found intriguing – just to serious to enjoy

And you-
Hold my spine like you would never put me down,
Leave your thoughts in my margins
I feel you, lost between my lines,
Finding yourself.
You turn my pages slowly,
We might never reach the ending.

Forgive me.
I am afraid
Of loosing my permanent spot on the shelf.
So,
Quick -

Take me away from here!
Take me so far, I cannot find my way back
Take me
Lost
Into your arms
Wake me buckets of ice water
Then
Scald me
warm
between both palms
Seize me
Straight jacket – hold me
Clenched fists -
take my hand.

I cannot remember feeling.

So,
Chisel our names into the ice
That Insulates my chest
Maybe it will crack
Then
Scream
Timid whispers into the cavity
Till shattered glass
Shards deep into my silence

I want to know the sounds of your voice
So please,
Tell me your name
No promises of forever

Just the two of us
Re-writing love into my memory
So that I can remember feeling

Closing Reception for 30 days : Saturday June 26th, 5-7pm, artist’s talks at 6pm.

day 26

Mikaela Sheldt — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:42:12 +0000

There is hope in this painting, but not that shallow, saccharine, I believe in miracles sort of hope. This hope is deeper, murkier, harder to see, but strong. This hope has history and requires exploration in place of blind faith. The hope in this painting is real, not quite beautiful, and moving. It swallows you, tells the truth, then asks you to look both inward and forward.

day 25

Mikaela Sheldt — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 15:47:21 +0000

I am falling in love with this painting. Every time some one walks into the room I feel like I’m introducing the love of my life, and each time I cross my fingers that the introduction will go smoothly. That you will at least like her, or see the good in her. I don’t expect you to love her like I do, but I want you to respect her and the relationship we have – to be happy for us. Maybe wish you could have what we have, because watching us interact is the closest thing to true love you have ever seen.

The painting is simply pigment on fabric, but I am only skin pulled across bone and some how we both have a soul.

Closing Reception for 30 days : Saturday June 26th, 5-7pm, artist’s talks at 6pm.

day 24

Mikaela Sheldt — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 16:30:35 +0000

I am going to put the sculpture on hold for a moment, because I really want to finish the painting and I am not certain if I will be able to finish the sculpture. It began to lean back a bit yesterday. I’ve secured it with a sling for the time being, but I know there are structural problems with it.

This is my first sculpture ever so it should be a learning experience, but I can’t help expecting/wanting everything to run smoothly. But isn’t that just it? – What this project is about. Process. Everyone is getting to watch me learn/make mistakes, and I’m getting to say, “I have no clue what I’m doing, but what the heck!” I love the honesty, and I love how this 30 day installation is becoming more and more about the beauty of honesty and vulnerability.

The next 5 days are going to continue to be beautiful, and the closing on Saturday will be the perfect time for synthesizing all that has been created during this project. Maybe we will have some new answers to the timeless questions about what is art, who is the artist, and why do we want them in our lives in the first place.

Closing Reception for 30 days : Saturday June 26th, 5-7pm, artist’s talks at 6pm.

day 23

Mikaela Sheldt — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:10:28 +0000

Yesterday a man named Xavier asked me what I am painting. After some thought, I responded that I am painting a place that neither exists nor doesn’t exist. I am painting the home that I have never seen, but that I have visited a hundred times in my thoughts. I am painting a place that I long for – a place that I will one day come home to – a place of love and depth. I am painting the most real place in the world that I have never seen, but that I believe in regardless.

day 22

Mikaela Sheldt — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 13:55:33 +0000

Yesterday flowed, yesterday I could breathe, yesterday I worked like I didn’t know where I was going, but had every faith I’d get there. I needed a day in the studio like yesterday.

The night before I spoke with my mama – talking about where I’m at. She helped me to break down some barriers I had built around myself. Since I work from such an internal personal place, and since she knows me so well, she can always tell when I’m not being honest with myself. She helped me face so much truth on the evening of day 21. When I walked into the studio yesterday I was in my space.

day 21

Mikaela Sheldt — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 13:43:26 +0000

Day 21 was both heart-wrenching and beautiful. There are so many elements of my process that I am self conscious about – even when no one is watching. So often I can work in an open studio regardless of my surroundings, but sometimes all I want to do is shut myself in. Doing this without a door is difficult.

It is hard, even for me, to understand why I make the work I do. I cannot explain why a painting of a horizon and a sculpture of 2 figures is so important to me, but I know that it is. I know that they are inside me climbing up and out through my hands, and my hands ache with longing to make them.

The space is hard to work in, but mainly my process is hard to work through.